Several times these past few days i started writing an entry and ended up deleting it. I just wasn't in the mood. Or I can't find the reason why i'm keeping a blog. (I still don't have the answer. Somehow the reasons I had before are gone now.)

I have to remove that little tagboard at the side of the page. Zonkboard is taking away my free board. They'll give it to the rich paying masses. (Too bad. I liked that tagboard much than any tagboards i've used.) So now i'll just be sticking with the comment box. So much free stuff are being taken back these days. dA has removed the thumbnails feature and they admins decided to offer it to subscribers only. Portland (my site host) has removed the cgi features for non-paying users. Soon there won't be any really good free stuff out there. The end of the world is probably near. (For the non-paying masses, anyways.)

The only free thing that's getting better is blogger. Just recently they offered most of their members-only features to non-paying users. God bless Blogger.

On other news, there's nothing much happening here. (why i called it 'news' i do not know). Still struggling to attend at least 3 aero sessions a week (i'm ALWAYS one session short), still checking lina's job alerts and but never really sending out my resume, still figuring out how the heck i'm gonna get out of this pathetic sad mood. (I'm starting to believe i crave sadness. My heart has turned masochistic. How did that happen when i so much enjoy being happy?)

I'm hoping keeping a grateful journal and getting some dose of Bo Sanchez's lovely and funny renewal and spiritual stories and trying NOT to think about my feelings all the time will help. (The last thing is so hard, especially when that's all that my "free" time allows me to do.) (Whew! So i'm not a masochist after all. Just a celf-centered person.)

It's great that I have friends I can call when i finally get to stop myself from thinking and self-analyzing and being depressed for no reason. Thanks dublin and Kit. :)